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Hollie
Hollie
@hollie@social.coop  ·  activity timestamp 19 hours ago

I’ve often wanted to make an ADHD screening test, written by me and other ADHDers (totally a joke yet also totally real), where you give different scenarios and then options for how things will turn out.

Like, oh, say, this one:

You have an amazing convergence of luck and executive function, and realize that a beloved old friend’s birthday is in three weeks (in case she’s reading this: the friendship is old, not you). In another unusual stroke of luck, you get a card, sign it, even remember to have your husband sign it, find that you have the perfect stamp, and address the envelope.

What happens then? Do you:

A) Put it on your desk, intending to mail it in a few days when it will arrive just in time for her birthday? And then...actually do that?

B) Put it on your desk, intending to mail it in a few days, then forget about it, lose it, find it in six months, mail it, after texting her an awkward yet skillful (thanks to years of practice) apology?

@actuallyadhd #ADHD

The edge of a letter tucked into a shelf on a very messy desk, its heart stamp sticking out.
The edge of a letter tucked into a shelf on a very messy desk, its heart stamp sticking out.
The edge of a letter tucked into a shelf on a very messy desk, its heart stamp sticking out.
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Kayelda
Kayelda
@Kayelda@mstdn.games replied  ·  activity timestamp 2 hours ago

@hollie @actuallyadhd

D) Throw it away after realising it's been too long, and now it's better she doesn't know it exists.

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fraggle
fraggle
@fraggle@social.coop replied  ·  activity timestamp 12 hours ago

@hollie @actuallyadhd C) put the card in my work bag and carry it around with me for the next 2 weeks, and set multiple calendar reminders in my phone to remind myself to put it in the mailbox, on consecutive days so that if I forget the first day I'll be reminded again the next day... etc.

I've played this game enough times to learn strategies

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Hollie
Hollie
@hollie@social.coop replied  ·  activity timestamp 12 hours ago

@fraggle @actuallyadhd I’ve lost mail in my bag too, you aren’t alone! :)

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Barefoot Rambling
Barefoot Rambling
@barefootrambling@autistics.life replied  ·  activity timestamp 14 hours ago

@hollie @actuallyadhd

Hoh boy do I feel this deeply, and uncomfortably.

Sigh.

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EllenIn Edmonton
EllenIn Edmonton
@EllenInEdmonton@yeg.bike replied  ·  activity timestamp 17 hours ago

@hollie
B, except I'd probably try to save it for 6 months to catch the next birthday.
I've become far more realistic about what I'm likely to do, so I almost never attempt to do anything by snailmail unless I'm actually standing in a post office where I can purchase and use all the necessary tools. There is just WAY too much executive functioning that's necessary for that kind of thing to work. I avoid nearly all sorts of paper, since it's just waiting to be lost.

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Hollie
Hollie
@hollie@social.coop replied  ·  activity timestamp 17 hours ago

@EllenInEdmonton Yeah, I love paper so I do a lot with it, but it really does take an effort of focus to make that work and it totally makes sense to just choose not to! :)

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Chaotic Unicorn
Chaotic Unicorn
@alter_unicorn@masto.bike replied  ·  activity timestamp 18 hours ago

@hollie B.
and I would be glad to help with the ADHD screening test.

it's a brilliant idea. @actuallyadhd

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Hollie
Hollie
@hollie@social.coop replied  ·  activity timestamp 17 hours ago

@alter_unicorn It would be fun to just collect everyone's funny stories! 😊

Also I like using humor to kinda pat everyone on the shoulder, like, "Yeah we see each other, being neurodivergent isn't easy, but we're all in this together, and we can laugh at this stuff."

@actuallyadhd

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Chaotic Unicorn
Chaotic Unicorn
@alter_unicorn@masto.bike replied  ·  activity timestamp 10 hours ago

@hollie it can raise awareness. raisind awareness has become my main battle. normalize neurodiversity everywhere! @actuallyadhd

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Cassie
Cassie
@casseagull@mstdn.social replied  ·  activity timestamp 18 hours ago

@hollie @actuallyadhd Didn't even need the multiple choice to know the answer to this one. I have a birthday card for my grandmother that I bought in late 2020 to mail to her for her birthday in February 2021. I never mailed it to her.

She died in January 2024, so I also never will. The card remains in the drawer, stamped and addressed.

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Hollie
Hollie
@hollie@social.coop replied  ·  activity timestamp 17 hours ago

@casseagull Aww! 💜

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Malcolm Herbert
Malcolm Herbert
@mherbert@social.chinwag.org replied  ·  activity timestamp 18 hours ago

@hollie @actuallyadhd love the stamp - Keith Haring was in Melbourne for a while in the 80s and did some street art which has been preserved ...

a Google Streetview image of the Keith Haring mural on the side of the former Collingwood Technical School in Melbourne
a Google Streetview image of the Keith Haring mural on the side of the former Collingwood Technical School in Melbourne
a Google Streetview image of the Keith Haring mural on the side of the former Collingwood Technical School in Melbourne
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Hollie
Hollie
@hollie@social.coop replied  ·  activity timestamp 17 hours ago

@mherbert Oh I love that! 😁 Keith Haring is so great!

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Sarah Frumento (she/her) 🇨🇦
Sarah Frumento (she/her) 🇨🇦
@SarahFrumento@socialbc.ca replied  ·  activity timestamp 18 hours ago

@hollie @actuallyadhd I'm probably 80% of the time B and 20% A. I have a friend with ADHD and it is now a running joke that we may get one another's cards anywhere from on time to nearly a year late. 😆
Actually, that reminds me... I have a card for her (bday was in January)... now where did I put it -- she's coming over today!

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Hollie
Hollie
@hollie@social.coop replied  ·  activity timestamp 17 hours ago

@SarahFrumento Ah, yay! Reminder! 😆

Yeah it's wonderful when you can have friends who get it, and don't judge, and you can laugh about it together.

@actuallyadhd

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Sarah Frumento (she/her) 🇨🇦
Sarah Frumento (she/her) 🇨🇦
@SarahFrumento@socialbc.ca replied  ·  activity timestamp 16 hours ago

@hollie @actuallyadhd Update: my friend just left ... sans birthday card

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Hollie
Hollie
@hollie@social.coop replied  ·  activity timestamp 15 hours ago

@SarahFrumento <empathetic high five>

@actuallyadhd

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Michael Bacon
Michael Bacon
@MichaelTBacon@social.coop replied  ·  activity timestamp 18 hours ago

@hollie @actuallyadhd

https://social.coop/@MichaelTBacon/115301935869361899

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Hollie
Hollie
@hollie@social.coop replied  ·  activity timestamp 17 hours ago

@MichaelTBacon HA! The funny thing is that I actually DO remember to this most of the time? Like maybe 75% of the time, which is way higher than it was years ago. I think it has a lot to do with environment - I've never lived close to a post office before, and now I do, and suddenly I can actually get this one chore done with very little friction!

@actuallyadhd

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irrational method
irrational method
@IrrationalMethod@social.coop replied  ·  activity timestamp 17 hours ago

@hollie @MichaelTBacon
I mean, I do manage to successfully return things most of the time, but that's why I keep* a giant stockpile of boxes and filler in my basement. And whenever I get the email with a return label immediately goes to the printer to have a physical item to remind me to deal with it.

*hoard is the word others might use...
@actuallyadhd

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Hollie
Hollie
@hollie@social.coop replied  ·  activity timestamp 17 hours ago

@IrrationalMethod @MichaelTBacon @actuallyadhd I have a box hoard too. Mine is in the attic. :)

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Michael Bacon
Michael Bacon
@MichaelTBacon@social.coop replied  ·  activity timestamp 17 hours ago

@IrrationalMethod @hollie

My response is basically to go through:

1. Is there ANY chance I'll actually use it?
2. Is there any chance someone I know might want it?
3. No really, if I like went to this one thing and did this other thing I might want it. Or maybe two of them. You never know.
4. How much did it cost me? How long will it take to return it? Is there anything else I can do in that time that will earn/save the same amount as returning it will get me?
5. Okay no really, can I possibly use it some way?
6. Can it be turned into something else?
7. Ooh, maybe it's too late to return it! Maybe it's beyond my control!
8. I really don't want it? Really?
9. OKAY FINE I'LL PRINT THE THING AND TAKE IT DOWN TO THE SHIPPING PLACE AND HAND IT TO THEM AND I'LL BE MAD THE WHOLE TIME.

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Hollie
Hollie
@hollie@social.coop replied  ·  activity timestamp 17 hours ago

@MichaelTBacon @IrrationalMethod It’s a neurodivergent flow chart! :)

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Michael Bacon
Michael Bacon
@MichaelTBacon@social.coop replied  ·  activity timestamp 17 hours ago

@hollie @actuallyadhd

Nice! Yes, my spouse has taught me a lot about "mise en place" when it comes to tasks. It's not terribly easy for ADHD people to do themselves, but it is a strategy for staying ahead of it.

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🕯️Curious Magpie 🕯️
🕯️Curious Magpie 🕯️
@CuriousMagpie@beige.party replied  ·  activity timestamp 18 hours ago

@hollie @actuallyadhd definitely and repeatedly B

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